As I was walking to my seat to watch “Battleship” i was cursing myself for having the stupidity for buying a ticket. It cost me 110 NOK, a pubes-width less than £12 at todays exchange, to watch a film that is based on a board game. Not a good boardgame either. As a poor boy growing up we used to play it on graph paper that we nicked from school, so the legend goes!

Battleship - Crap Game Kobestarr.com

As I sat down to the film the thought “Don’t hate the player, hate the game” came to my head. How apt i thought. The problem was however, I was less than indifferent to the game! I then thought that this statement could be applied to the ridiculous movie making industry that could crowbar a story out of a ridiculous boardgame. I should hate them, not the final product or the actors involved or myself for paying £12 for to watch it.

These thoughts made me feel a whole lot happier plus curiosity simply got the better of me. The following questions needed answering

1) How can then force a story out of a game like this?

2) What kind of role would Rihanna play, would she be any good and would you see her nipple?

3) Liam Neeson was Oscar nominated for his role as a sympathetic Nazi and has played the “A-Team’s” Hannibal Smith – should he be hanging his head in shame?

4) Everyone loves a good car crash don’t they? This could be a cinematic rubberneckers nirvana

5) Will Mark Kermode rant about this film??

The answers to all these and more will be answered in my 6th “Letter to Kermode and Mayo”! Hold tight people!

Hello Sigfried and Roy,

I am a medium term listener and a 6th time writer-inner from Manchester but living in Bergen, Norway at the moment. I went to see Battleship at the weekend and at each stage of the of process I hung my head in shame. I bought the ticket online so that I didn’t have to speak to anyone to tell them what I wanted. I’m sure that the machine laughed at me as it coughed up the ticket! Battleship is exactly the kind of film that I didn’t want to see. A story crowbarred from on a plotless boardgame, a pop stars’s first feature, stealing its ideas from Transformers has to make for a terrible film and an interstellar Kermodian Rant! Hasn’t it?!

The reason that I bought the ticket was that curiosity got the better of me… and you know what? I liked it…much against my own rational I hasten to add. I really don’t know why. Maybe it just wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be, the old law of diminished expectations!!

Lets list the Faults!

1) The story makes no sense. The aliens half the time seem like good guys. They were attacked first and half the time they didn’t kill people. I didn’t know who we were supposed to be championing most of the time!

2) The main guy is an idiot with no redeeming features.

3) American films should never feature what they call “soccer”.

4) Rihanna wasnt bad but I had no idea what here character was about.

5) If they had to shoot the aliens why didn’t they use the missiles that they used at the end.

6) Liam Neeson has gone from “Schindler”  to “Taken” to “The A-Team” to “Battleship” to “Taken 2″ … his futures not bright.

Rihanna Plays with Big Guns! Its a small Imagination Leap Guys!! Kobestarr.com

So why did I like it?

1) There were some parts there were genuinely funny, such as with the chicken burrito and the scientist guy made me laugh,

2) Even though her character is troubled Rihanna didn’t play a typical attractive female role and I think there is hope for her in the future,

3) They DID actually play Battleship in the film,

4) It didn’t drag on too long, (That is a bonus in this day and age)

5) The whole final third with the veteran marines coming on in slow motion like a geriatric “Reservoir Dogs”  is actually so ridiculous you have to see it.

I’ll probably never watch it again but I wont be asking the cinema for two hours of my life back either!

Come on Mark – do your worst!

PS – You dont see Rihanna’s nipple – but im told she has a piercing…..

K

Since my first few meetings with the Kolibri we have come up with a few ideas about how we can work together on their social media strategy for the coming months. I was unable to attend the course this month so I sent a screencast presetation through via Vimeo. It is given here for future reference and for comparison when it comes to the end of the module.

This was shown to my course tutor and other students on the MA Social Media course. They came up with some questions which were given below!

“How do i intend on capturing the older demographic on facebook?”

There website is one of the main way that the older demographic currently engage with the Kolibri Project. The one way to improve their engagement is to show more facebook activity on the website using larger and more attractive activity boxes showing that there is an active Facebook community that they should try and get involved in.

At the moment the Kolibri Facebook page does not have a unique/vanity URL. A unique facebook URL such as “facebook.com/nike” will draw people to their brand site that should have activity that explains what Kolibri is about and encourages engagement across all demographics. The Facebook url can be used as much as the standard site url so that people can choose the way that is best for them to engage in.

Fundrasing apps on that can be used on Facebook as well as the main site such as FundRazr will be able to make the most of people who wish to donate from either platform.

“Is the foucs on getting more people enganged with Kolibri only by the two core events talked about in the presentation?”

Unfortunately one of the events “Rival vs Rival” which was due for 2nd June 2012 will be postponed until next year. This is a breakdancing competition and it is a shame as it could have been a great way to involve the younger demographic and make them aware of what what Kolibri is about. It also would have been a great event to film and use to help boost the YouTube views and subscribers.

Kolibri Fest!

The second event is the “Kolibri Fest”,  which is on the 3rd of June. This is their annual event that is used to attract attention to their cause as well as media attention and funding. This is a essentially a family fun day with events that go on throughout the day with a Brazilian and a Norwegian themes food, drink and hopefully sun!! This is a great opportunity to engage the 30+ demographic that have children and young families as well as those old enough to have grand children. The Kolibri Fest will also be a good opportunity try to involve the younger children. Though their activities on the internet and fundrasing abilities may be limited at the moment!

“What is the timescale for the work with the Kolibri?”

I will be on call as much as possible all the way through to the Kolibri Fest but I will be ready and willing to help should they need any help or advice. As I train Capoeira with a group that is associated heavily with The Kolibri Project I expect that I will be involved with them for some time!! This is particularly pertinent when it come to any training that I give to the members of the Kolibri team. They should be willing to help the

“How much will i be involved with the design of the website?”

I am not a web designer by any stretch of the imagination but I have some about how the site could be better arranged to get the point across within the landing page at least. This should be able to give people the full impact of the Kolibri Project within one page.  I will be helping to look at the graphical redesign of their website and will use this as a first stage relaunch and try to use this to get engagement this way. As a charity Kolibri will of course have limited resources so if there are ways that I can help with Photoshop and other design that can reduce the burden on the web design team and hence reduce costs I will of course do my best to help! Once the changes have been implemented the Kolibri will be in a stronger position to promote to the wider and more traditional media and look to attract support by driving people to the site. The proposed changes to the site will be the focus of future kobestarr posts

“How are you looking to increase the number of YouTube subscribers and views”

The first thing  to do is to make the Youtube Channel look like it is part of the rest of the Kolibri Social Media outlets and websites. In general there needs to be better alignment of the Kolibri Brand across Facebook, Twitter, YouTube so that people know that it is all part of the same family when they visit the various different sites.

At the moment I am creating animated intros and outros that can be used to “bookend” any videos that will be made by Kolibri in the furture. This will carry the logo and site information and ensure that wherever the videos are posted that people can contact them and encourage subscribers.

We have talked about looking through the archives for videos that they have from past events. If we feel together that any of these themselves are strong enough then we can use them to promote Kolibri online using the intro and outro.

“Are all the members orphans and how will you get them engaged with the Social Media?”

The members are not orphans! I assume by orphans that you mean the street children that are being helped by the charity? The aim of Kolibiri is to provide activities so that the street children have places to go outside of school with the aim of diverting their attention from drugs and violence and other dangers that they could potentially be involved in. The street children are the “end user” as it were. It is important to try and engage them, however as they need to be made aware that there are other options for them and that if they wish they can look to improve their lifes. This will really be dealt with on the Brazilian side of things. It is unlikely that they can read Norwegian or English, however this is one way that the YouTube videos could prove helpful in bridging the gap. With well made videos actions speak louder than words.

K*

In a weird twist, Easter 2012 saw a few films being released in Norway before the rest of the world. The normally backwards release system here means that “The Muppets” may not actually see an official release date here meaning that the vikings resort to downloading to try and keep up with the rest of the world.

It is for this reason that I feel that I have come across somewhat of an exclusive for the next few posts. An exclusive afforded myself and the rest of a nation.these

The 4th April 2012 saw the official release of Iron Sky and American Reunion. Two weeks and a month ahead of their UK release dates respectively.  I wonder if I got to see these before the good Dr Kermode and the rest of the UK film critics? So what did I think of them? Well that has be to be subject of a letter to the Wittertainment chaps…hasn’t it??

Allo Allo meets Blazing Saddles and Spaceballs!

Dear Peanutbutter and Jam,

I am a medium term listener and 5th time writer in-er. I have been listening to the podcast since mid 2011 and whilst playing “catch up” I distinctly remember reference made to the film “Iron Sky” that I am about to review. I remember at the time that Mark was excited by the strap line “In 1945 the Nazis landed on the moon. In 2018 they will return.”

I live in Norway and felt lucky to see a film before the rest of the world and not months behind as is normally the case here! I really wanted to write about how wonderfully silly and fun I thought “Iron Sky” was. The premise of the film, that during World War 2 some of the Nazis escaped to the moon to plot their dastardly return, is utterly ridiculous and tees you up perfectly for the kind of film that this is.

The best way I can describe Iron Sky is that it is a satirical mash up of Mel Brooks’ Blazing Saddles and Spaceballs and the camp Nazi mockery of BBC’s Allo Allo. A former Finnish flatmate of mine is a huge fan of Allo Allo so this would not surprise me if the BBC’s sitcom provided a lot of inspiration for the Finish director Timo Vourensola during the making of this film.

Iron Sky is set in a world where the first female President of the USA, someone whose name is not given but bears more than a resemblance to Sarah Pallin, is standing for relection into her second term in the White House. In a bid to do so she sends the first black astronaut to the moon but he is caught by the space Nazi’s who are confused by him. Whilst torturing him the Nazis find that his technology is what is required to launch the mother of all attacks and send a scouting mission to Earth to get some smart phones for their raw computing power.

The actors all played the roles fittingly with special mention going to the Julia Dietze as the blinkered but sympathetic Nazi. The special effects were ropey in places but only by Hollywood standards but staggering for a film that was made for only $10 million.

The laughs come thick and fast and close to the bone playing on Nazi stereotypes, Black stereotypes, American stereotypes, all stereotypes….no one is safe even the Finnish! Iron Sky is the kind of intelligently silly B-Movie that has been missing from the cinemas for a long time. I really want to know how Americans take to it. My main fear is that this will open the door to a raft of substandard, satirical, slapstick also rans in a bid to recreate Iron Sky. Please don’t. Maybe you should leave satire to the Finnish. I never thought I would say that …

Thanks

Kobestarr off of Bergen, Norway via Manchester

K*