Its the time of the year that you clear out all of the crap that you collect and in doing so I came across a load of the tickets to films that I went to last year. Que a lil reminisce and debrief. Here follows a two part countdown of the best films of 2010 according to Kobestarr!

12 – Hot Tub Time Machine

This is just childish and it’s set in the 80’s. That’s why I like it. Four guys get drunk because their lives are a bit shit and go in a hot tub together that happens to be a time machine. They accidentally set it off and go back to the 80’s and have to relive one of the biggest holidays of their lives.

Having watched “Back to the Future” they initially set out to not change anything and keep the Space/Time continuum in one piece for when they get home. They then decide to sod all that when they realise that they can change their lives for the better. Nothing ground breaking here apart from the long overdue appearance of Chevy Chase as the controller of the hot tub!

Please come back and do more films Chevy! You’d be great in a film with Will Ferrel!   

11 – Four Lions

I have a bet on that Chris Morris will be killed one day at the hand of one of the people that he mocks. When I heard about “Four Lions” I thought that my payday would come in 2010.

This comedy revolves around a group of Islamic Fundamentalists that are planning a suicide bombing attack on at the London Marathon. It is a comedy. Honest. And it’s great too. It had me in stitches at some points and squirming in my chair at how inappropriate it all was. In testament to how close to the bone it is Four Lions is the only film that I have been to where people have walked out disgusted.

The story takes the gang from their base in Sheffield to training in Pakistan before the big event in London. I won’t divulge the plot except to say that ridiculousness ensues at every step

Chris Morris is still alive and it is months after the film came out. Maybe he’s invincible? Dammit that’s more money down the drain!

 

10 – The Social Network

Lots of people were asking me if I had seen “The Social Network” shortly after it came out. “You must go see it! You must!” For sure it’s cool but the main thing that sets it apart from the rest of herd is the fact that the story is true.

Telling the tale of everyones favourite stalking website, “The Social Network” centres around the early days of Facebook and its co creators Mark Zuckerbeg and Eduardo Saverin. It seems that what happened is that a poor but smart Zuckerberg kinda bullies his rich friend Eduardo into starting up a website and gives him 30%. As the site gets more and more successful the get a bit of freaky sex and the and meet the dude that started Napster, who is a massive coke fiend.

As the site gets bigger they drop the “The” from the front of “The Facebook” and Zuckerberg shafts his best mate Eduardo out of a load of the shares in the company. Eduardo sues him, as well as three other people who claim that the website was their idea and Napster man is found doing coke with young girls.

If this story is 100% true the main thing that comes across is that Zuckerberg is a bit of a tool. I still like Facebook though so if you read this please don’t kick me off!

9 – Piranha 3D

This was the pitch at the studio for Piranha 3D

Film Studio: Ok guys, you have one shot. Go!

Filmmakers: Ok, the premise is simple. Get Kelly Brook naked. In 3D. Oh sure we’ll lace it up with some story about mad fish that eat people in a Jaws kinda way. We even have Richard Dreyfuss lined up as a cameo in homage and we have already got a discount on a shedload of fake blood. We’ll set it in a sleepy American town where…

Film Studio: Stop! You had us at Kelly Brook naked. In 3D. Here is a shit load of money. Get some more boobs in there and make it quick. Anything else?

Filmmakers: Yeah the sequel will be out in 2011 and will be called Piranha 3DD.

Film Studio: We love you.

 

8 – Iron Man 2

The first  Iron Man really surprised me. I had it set out in my mind that it would be a big steaming pile of cack of the Fantastic Four variety. It turns out I was proved wrong and the whole film was mega including an out of character Jeff Bridges playing a baddie. Robert Downey Jr (or Rodojo as Wiggy calls him) is superb, but then that was always a given.

Iron Man 2 is great too. Keeping to the K.I.S.S (Keep It Simple Stupid) strategy it had more of everything. More Iron Man suits, more baddies and more hot chicks.

Whoever cast Scarlett Yo (Johansson) in a catsuit is a genius and I would very much like to include you in my Will.

 

7 – Karate Kid

My mate Mark was so excited after seeing “The Karate Kid” that he rang me up and was almost tripping over himself with glee. I could tell that on the way home he had attacked small dogs and innocent goldfish imitating the new moves that he had learnt from the new kid.

He was right to do so. Its ace and topped off with suitably improbable finishing move. The film is sweet, Jackie Chan is mega, the training is sweet and Jayden Smith is annoying but could easily kick Daniel San’s ass. It’s not Karate though, but I got over that and so can you!


The Also Rans….

I saw a shedload of flicks last year and not all of them were shit. Here are a few that didn't quite make the grade..

Scott Pilgrim Vs The World

Another outing for Michael Cera in 2010. A really cool idea for a flick and some ace set pieces and is really funny in places. I doesn’t make sense though is my problem. The comics make sense though and they are unreal. Watch the film then read the comics and titter away. Also a friend of mine did the sound effects for it. The sound effects were without doubt the best thing about the film. (Pay me later Ben!:-) )

 

Get Him to the Greek

A lot better than I thought it would be. With some stupid scenes and a surprisingly funny Sean “Puff Daddy, P.Diddy” Coombes. Russell Brand isn’t annoying and Jonah Hill’s weight is getting beyond a joke! He’s famous though so he’ll be getting some clunge so don’t worry too much about him folks.

 

Whatever Works

I love HBO’s “Curb Your Enthusiasm” and its main pro/antagonist Larry David and I love Woody Allen films. Larry David basically plays the Woody Allen character and is a sweet combination. Not everyone’s cup o tea though I understand.

 

The A-Team

Damn, this should have been amazing! It wasn’t quite there though. The characters were good with a slightly contrived story. Annoyingly they didn’t feature that much of the A-Team van but they built some crazy shit and Murdock is crazy, which is nice. Expect a sequel soonish where they can put things right! 

Up in the Air

A lovely dark film starring The Clooney as a heartless travelling bastard that goes round collects air miles and then fires people and rarely goes home and mainly to visit his fuck-buddy. It turns out that he has got a heart as he only likes firing people face to face and he loses his FB when he is called back to his hometown.

Back in the air again he finds a new FB who is a certified MILF played by Vera Farmiga and decides he has feelings for her and could make a go of it. But will they? He does get more airmiles woo! It doesn’t discuss how large his carbon footprint is though from all the flying.

K*