In my life I have come up with many ideas for music videos – if you ever meet me you should ask! I have forgotten a fair few, but I know sure there are some corkers still there in my brain somewhere. I can tell you though that even with my hyperactive imagination and penchang for the ridculous, I could never have come up with a video as random as the one below for Vampire Weekend.

I would have loved to be there when the idea was pitched to vampire weekend. Luckily i managed to get a transcript of that meeting….

Director: Hello Vampire Weekend!

Vampire Weekend: Yo! So what's your video idea for our latest single "Giving Up the Gun" director dude?

 

D: Well, I want to stage a tennis match…

VW: Just gonna stop you there, do you know who we are and what kinda music we do? Have you heard the single?

D: No…well not sober anyway. I listened to it after ingesting a heady cocktail of mescaline, crystal meth and peyote. I’ve not slept for 92 hours and I’m still tripping now. I thought you guys were Vampires?

VW: No. That’s a popular misconception. It’s just a name and we’re just regular people. So… anyway… thanks for coming. It’s a no from us…

D: Wait! You could at least hear me out.

VW: All right, make it quick then.

D: So as I was saying, there’s a tennis match in a white room where a ginger woman with red tennis gear is playing. RZA from the Wu-Tang Clan is the umpire.

VW: We really have no idea where you’re going with this.

D: Listen, erm…she plays against a dude, a samurai, two Swedish looking girls, the worlds most massivest woman, then plays against two Stigs from “Top Gear” – but with black helmets. She then beats a whole host of other people before Jake Gyllenhaall steps up and initially threatens to cut her head off.

VW: This is random, but go on.

D: Jake is the best contestant by far but he falls over and red girl hits a tennis ball against his arse. We find out that the RZA can teleport and calls a ball in that red girl thought was out. Then a bit later she plays against a version of herself dressed in white and is stuggling. After that she sits down and Lil’ John rocks up as her coach and speaks to her in French subtitles. Shortly after that she hits a ball that turns into fire and beats the other version of her. Err…the end?

VW: You really are a whack job aren’t you? However, It’s actually the best thing we’ve heard. Two questions for you though. Where are we in the video and is red girl fit?

D: You guys are kind of nobbing about in the background. Is she fit? She could be better, but I’ve pulled worse!

VW: Hired!

D: Huzzah!

Sorry about that folks – that was very random I know!

K*

P.S There is an extremely high possibility that the above transcript did not happen. The video is random and ace though!