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Call a spork a spork?

Still suffering from the chrimbo-limbo (i.e. being disorientated and not knowing what day is what over the Christmas and New Years period) and not wanting to be out in the snow, I hadn’t been shopping for ages. I have been reduced to the tail end of rank food in my fridge for lunch at work.

This morning I didn’t want to deal with stale bread and mouldy salad so I stopped in the petrol station on my way to work and picked out a chicken and bacon pasta salad "with plastic spork". It was gash! The copious sauce was slimey and suspect yet the chicken was dryer than desiccated chalk and didn’t want to stay on the end of the included spork. Whilst trying to feed myself the rancid food with the plastic utensil I noticed the inscription "Mini Spork" just to avoid any confusion and stop me eating it I guess?

Then I got to thinking – why is a "spork" called a "spork"? I understand that it is a mashup (or portmanteau if you want to be posh) of the words "spoon" and "fork", but why is it "spork" and not "foon"?

Foon just sounds better – it brings a smile to my face. Try saying foon and keeping a straight face, I bet you can’t! I dream of a world where I can buy a crappy pasta salad and the plastic utensil included has "Mini Foon" inscribed on the back.



Titanium Foon!


Even better – I want to be able to go to Ikea (other kitchenware shops are available) and pick up a big serving foon and when you turn it around it is inscribed with the words "Massive Foon". I doubt that it will happen in my lifetime though…….

Ha ha ha – "foon"!